Quotes and more quotes

Dad was always known for his love of language as well as the sound of his own voice. And I'm trying to collect some of his more colorful quotes. Here are two to start: This first one I'm sure he was talking to Lil' John and Dad said "Never trust doctors. Who else would take your money and then unplug you." and He told me on numerous occasions that "If you can't cure it with surgery, you're not really sick." Anyone have anything to add??